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Our Babysitter

Mrs. Judy was what we called her.  She was seventy-two year old frail woman who took care of us after school for three years.  She was such a nice sweet old lady.  She would do our laundry, put away dishes, and just take care of us.  It was three years of after school care from … Continue reading

My Best Friend

There was a story about a girl and her dog.  My best friend.  He would come up to me and put his head on my knee and wait there for me to pet him.  He knew when I was happy.  He knew when I was sad.  Often I would sit out on the front steps … Continue reading

Nicki Got Angry

Sometimes my little girl I used to be would get very angry at the things my parents did to me and I would act out.  That’s why my parents still have issues with me to this day.  It was the acting out they really hated.  I would act up when they really made me angry. … Continue reading

Coming through the door at the end of the day

Most people would think this a good and worthy activity.  In our home, during this stage of my childhood, it became a huge source of stress.  My parents would come together and kiss.  My mother always handed my father a glass of alcohol when he walked through the door.  And then I would push my … Continue reading

Writing the Great American Novel

My father has been a successful lawyer since he first opened up his doors to let people in the office.  He was very different to his clients than he was to anyone in his family.  It was a perfect facade for the people who worked with him.  He was Mr. Professional.  He never lost his … Continue reading

A note about holidays

Today is Easter Sunday so this naturally makes me think about our childhood holidays. Holidays were always a time of happiness in our house growing up.  This might sound strange to people in the know.  But my father’s alcoholism did not hit it’s worse during holidays.  There was still drinking by my parents, but the … Continue reading

Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo

I went to go see Vertigo on the big screen revival a few years back and sat mesmerized as I watched Kim Novak portray this woman without a conscience.  It was incredible.  There was my mother alive and breathing on the big screen.  If you know this movie, then you know my mother.  My mother … Continue reading

The Deception Begins

I was three.  I remember being happy.  We lived with my mother’s side of the family for one year.  That’s when my parents decided that enough was enough.  We were too close and under too much scrutiny from loving family members who would protect me and John.  That was not going to fly.  I had … Continue reading