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family rules

A note about holidays

Today is Easter Sunday so this naturally makes me think about our childhood holidays.

Holidays were always a time of happiness in our house growing up.  This might sound strange to people in the know.  But my father’s alcoholism did not hit it’s worse during holidays.  There was still drinking by my parents, but the tempers were always kept under control on the holiday itself.  

Whenever you hear someone say, “I don’t like the holidays.”

What they really mean to say “The holidays remind me of my horrible upbringing and my alcoholic mother or father.”

My former mother-in-law was a classic example.  She had to have her children’s attention on her at all times during the holidays.  She would rant and rave and make all members of the family feel like crap.  It was her way of saying pay attention to me.  She wanted to be the absolute queen bee.  It was sad to watch in home videos.  It was very quiet.  There was no joy of holidays on anyone’s face.  Everyone in this family looked stoic and unhappy.  

She got her wish.  The kids were all very attentive to her.  They were afraid of her.  They were afraid she’d unleash her terror on them again.  But she didn’t because she already had what she wanted which was complete control of the situation.  

It’s very sad because the mother has complete control in these things no matter how she acts.  So my former mother-in-law chose to be a bad role model.  And she made the holidays very unpleasant for her family.  Not a good legacy to leave behind.  

Easter Sunday was always a good day in my family because we would go to church and get our food blessed. I liked eating the blessed food because it made me feel special that the food had a blessing on it and maybe in some small way I deserved to be blessed.  

That memory just brought a smile to my face.  It wasn’t all bad in my childhood.

About advocateformutiny

I will not be silent anymore.


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