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family rules

More Coping

I also have a great affinity for animals.  I had a huge collection of glass animals whom I loved dearly.  They all had names and personalities.  I would spend a lot of my free hours inventing new games to play with my glass animals.  They were my favorite past time.  I kept them on my dresser to help me when I needed their help.  We would have long conversations back and forth on the state of my life and my emotions.  They were very sympathetic and always able to listen to me when I was hurting.  

These glass animals help foster a life long love of animals which has become very important to me.  As a child, I had a close affinity to deer and bucks in particular.  They were very majestic and I loved to watch them walk with such care.  They were very strong creatures and became a symbol for me in my heartbreak to keep going when things were bad.  

And I had Lance, my dog.  He was my greatest friend of all and he helped me through more tough times.  He was a good dog and he loved me always.

I know that I did whatever I could to help me survive such a poisonous upbringing.  There was very little love so I created it where I could.  There was very little caring for me in my family of origin.  I had to do that on my own, too.  Animals love without condition.  This is the only way I experienced unconditional love growing up.  

My parents lived their lives with conditions attached.  They loved me as long as I was doing what they wanted me to do.  They loved me as long as they could use me as their whipping board.  


About advocateformutiny

I will not be silent anymore.


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