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family rules

Brian gets hurt, again

Yes, it was on my watch.  This was about one year after the iron icident.  It was summer.  Brian and Hannah were outside playing and my mother told me to watch them.  I was watching them and resenting every second having to sit there and just watch them play.  Brian was on his little tricycle.  Hannah was chasing after him.  They were having fun.  Then I had to go to the bathroom.  I told my brother and sister I would be right back.  I ran inside the house into the bathroom.  I came out and heard Brian screaming.  I run outside.  My mother runs outside.  We get there at the same time to find Brian on the ground.  He had fallen off his tricycle and gauged a chuck out of his big toe.  My mother turned around and hit me.  Hard.  And then she took Brian to the hospital.  He needed stitches in his big toe.  Again it was my fault.  Again I got into some big trouble.  This is not as remembered as the iron falling.  In fact, I think most people in my family have forgotten about it except me and Brian.  I bring it up because this incident also traumatized me.  I couldn’t figure out how this was my fault again.  I knew I had been watching him and left for a few minutes.  But the same thing would have happened had I been sitting out on our front lawn while he fell down.  I understood this then.  I understand it now.  I did not understand how my mother could hit me for my brother falling down.  I do not understand now how my mother could have hit me for this.  If one was uncharitable, one might think I had it out for Brian for ousting me as the cherished little girl role  I had with my father.  

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About advocateformutiny

I will not be silent anymore.

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