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family rules

I see my father

I was in fourth grade.  The four kids are almost in my mother’s car and ready to go to school.  I run back inside the house because I forgot my coat and it was a cold day.  I run through the front door and down the hall to my bedroom door.  My father thinks we are all gone and he opened his bedroom door at the same time I am running down the hall. He steps out and I stop short.  He was standing out his bedroom door completely naked as the day he was born. We stare at each other for two seconds and then he backs into his bedroom and slams the door shut.  I run in and get my coat.  I did not understand why, but I knew I was in big trouble.  I go through the school day very silent.  I get home and am sent to my bedroom.  My father comes home, goes into my bedroom and gets his belt out.  I was belted because I had seen my father naked.  It was my fault that I had done such an affront to him.  I was left completed shamed.  It took me a long time to get over this lesson my father taught me. I thought there was something wrong with a man’s body after this.  I also thought there was something wrong with me for seeing my father naked.  I did not understand any of this.  Quite frankly, it still baffles me.  My own children saw me naked many times and I did not think twice about it.  

About advocateformutiny

I will not be silent anymore.


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