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archives

cycle of abuse

This tag is associated with 14 posts

Taking Candy from Babies

Halloweeen was always a fun time of year for me and John. We were able to dress up and be kids for a little while. My mother would stay home passing out candy to the many children who would trick or treat. My father would take us out at sundown to get our candy fill. … Continue reading

Interpersonal Problems Begin

Believe it or not, I was fairly happy kid in school with lots of friends. In fifth grade, things began to change for me. I was growing up. I was maturing. My body was developing early. In fifth grade, two friends left me.  I had a best friend in school. Her name was Michelle. We … Continue reading

Daddy Please

Stop.  I loved you and I didn’t want to get beaten by you.  I didn’t understand why you wouldn’t stop hitting me.  You would slap me on my face.  You would punch me on my arms.  You would kick me when I was laying on the ground.  You would belt me whenever you felt like … Continue reading

I see my father

I was in fourth grade.  The four kids are almost in my mother’s car and ready to go to school.  I run back inside the house because I forgot my coat and it was a cold day.  I run through the front door and down the hall to my bedroom door.  My father thinks we … Continue reading

I don’t eat fish or seafood

My mother would cook fish every Friday because that’s what good Catholics do.  Maybe she thought if she followed these rules it would ensure her entrance into heaven.  We ate fish every Friday which was fine.  Except I grew to hate filet of sole and that’s what she made for the kids.  She would prepare … Continue reading

Because he felt like it

My father would often beat John just because he felt like it. There was no rhyme or reason for it.  My father took out his rage on John and he did it often.  John did not do anything in particular at that moment in time.  Except maybe breathe.  John’s breathing probably did upset my father. … Continue reading

Why?

I was in my bedroom minding my own business in the late afternoon playing with my stuffed animals.  My mother came in and pulled me off my bed by my hair and dragged me into the kitchen and forcefully pushed me into a chair at the kitchen table.  She was ranting about her missing lipstick.  I … Continue reading

My relationship with Hannah

I had a real love/hate relationship with Hannah.  She was my baby sister and I loved her and spent a lot of my free time entertaining her before she was in kindergarten.  I would really enjoy spending time with her.  She liked me to spend time with her as well.  But it was obvious who … Continue reading

My relationship with Brian

I was almost six years old by the time Brian was born.  I had just lost my older sister, Lee, into no man’s land.  I missed her terribly.  I don’t remember associating Lee leaving with a new baby coming.  It has become obvious to me writing this journal that this was the reason Lee left … Continue reading

Daddy’s Little Girl

Believe it or not, I started my first five years or so as a Daddy’s Girl.  My father used to hold my hand while walking, take me with him while working, talk to me like I was not just a child, and he would read to me.  In short, he would show me off as … Continue reading