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archives

mental health

This tag is associated with 11 posts

Interpersonal Problems Begin

Believe it or not, I was fairly happy kid in school with lots of friends. In fifth grade, things began to change for me. I was growing up. I was maturing. My body was developing early. In fifth grade, two friends left me.  I had a best friend in school. Her name was Michelle. We … Continue reading

I don’t eat fish or seafood

My mother would cook fish every Friday because that’s what good Catholics do.  Maybe she thought if she followed these rules it would ensure her entrance into heaven.  We ate fish every Friday which was fine.  Except I grew to hate filet of sole and that’s what she made for the kids.  She would prepare … Continue reading

Because he felt like it

My father would often beat John just because he felt like it. There was no rhyme or reason for it.  My father took out his rage on John and he did it often.  John did not do anything in particular at that moment in time.  Except maybe breathe.  John’s breathing probably did upset my father. … Continue reading

Why?

I was in my bedroom minding my own business in the late afternoon playing with my stuffed animals.  My mother came in and pulled me off my bed by my hair and dragged me into the kitchen and forcefully pushed me into a chair at the kitchen table.  She was ranting about her missing lipstick.  I … Continue reading

When I was in grade school, I loved to catch lizards. I would make a little home for them in a pie tin. I’d put in rocks, leaves and a little bowl for a pool of water. I would put together the little home first, and then I would go out and catch my lizard. … Continue reading

Creepy Neighbor

I still remember the last night I had a good night sleep not being afraid of the dark. I was in kindergarten. My older brother had his new friend from next door spend the night over our house. Kerri. I went to bed sleeping happy thoughts in my bed. A few hours later, John and … Continue reading

The second memory

My previous post is called recovered memories. The second stirred memory was behind the reason I started therapy again during this time. I was having trouble with dealing with my young daughters and their stage of development during the terrible two stage. One of my daughters would throw herself down in front of me to … Continue reading

Recovered Memories

At one point in the beginning of my recovery journey, I had a lot of memories floating around in my brain that wanted to come out. My therapist told me not to force the memories. Let them come up naturally and unforced. And that’s what I did. One day I was driving home by myself … Continue reading

Nicki Got Angry

Sometimes my little girl I used to be would get very angry at the things my parents did to me and I would act out.  That’s why my parents still have issues with me to this day.  It was the acting out they really hated.  I would act up when they really made me angry. … Continue reading

Coming through the door at the end of the day

Most people would think this a good and worthy activity.  In our home, during this stage of my childhood, it became a huge source of stress.  My parents would come together and kiss.  My mother always handed my father a glass of alcohol when he walked through the door.  And then I would push my … Continue reading